Paralyzed

From the time I was a little girl I knew I wanted to be a mom. I remember stuffing my shirt with pillows and literally admiring my reflection in the mirror. When the neighborhood kids would come over to play 'house' I would always take the roll of being 'mom.' Being a mom is what I was born to do. 

So as luck would have it, I met the one I would one day call my husband in the 8th grade. I was smitten from the start. Life happened fast. There were graduations, career moves, we bought a house, we got married we settled comfortably and then time froze. 

We decided to have a baby and then it didn't happen. 

The last few years have been the most challenging years of my life. We went through three medicated cycles on Letrozole and end each cycle ended with a stark white pregnancy test. We moved on to a fertility clinic where I was officially diagnosed as infertile due to tubal issues. My tubes are blocked and inoperable.

This is our ticket straight to IVF and I'm paralyzed with fear. I have my IVF consult mid October and once I have definitive idea of what the next year will look like, I want to come back here to document it. I'm a stew of emotions and I've been brewing long enough... I need an outlet!

With a hopeful heart,

Geraldine